I wish I can carry the game “21 questions” around. Really. Not sure if it actually exists. Index cards will do. Cards filled with riveting, open-ended questions, perhaps even bloggable. The game would elicit naturally interesting and more meaningful conversation than your average, monotonous, mundane, dreary, small talk.
I know I’m unemployed, but even when I was working and doing what I “love”, I still hated talking about it. It just doesn’t make sense. I’m at a social gathering (not work related) and people will still ask, “What do you do?”. Those that are in my inner circle will say, “How is the job hunt?” “Started working yet?” If I got a job, don’t you think you would be the first or second to know??? Abuela, Dad, and Mom are culpable of these inquiries. I would compare this to those friends of mine that took The Bar and get asked daily if they passed. Hello?! If they passed, they would have announced it on every social media network they have by now.
Really though, how does one answer this if they are unemployed and want to dodge follow-up questions? I get asked: Where are you looking? Have you had any interviews? Sometimes we go off on tangents to discuss the terrible job market (more boring than me discussing my employment status).Most of my friends are attorneys or a few months away from being one. They seem to love to talk about their job. Is law really that interesting? (rhetorical).
I understand that what we “do” for a living is part of us, but I also DO other things. I’m made up of many things. The places I go, the food I consume (85% of me is made of this), the people I meet, the family I was given, friends I have chosen, my significant other, my likes and dislikes… and although never to be brought up in small talk, I am made up of my political views as well.
- The weather?! Who cares? (no one)
- How about them Dolphins? Who cares? (not me) –Ask about the Miami Heat, now you got a good conversation going. lol
- World news? Too negative.
- I love your purse! Where did you get it? Too superficial.
♦ I suppose there is a deeper question to consider here. We define ourselves by what we “do” for a living. It’s the first, if not second question we ask a person when we meet them for the first time. I know you may be thinking that I’m just bitter because I am embarrassed that I don’t have a job to define me in small talk, however, I have always felt this way. I’ve felt this way when I have had a job. ♦
Defined by Wiki:
Some helpful links for small talk guidelines: